The moment I saw the number on the thermometer, tears streamed down my face. A wave of self-loathing washed over me. It was all my fault, my selfishness. I hadn’t taken care of him properly, and now he was suffering because of me. He was so little, and I was a failure as a mother. “No, he needs to go to the hospital!” I told Deng Jia Zhe, my voice rising. “We have to go now!” Zhao Ming Zhen and I